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Being a Lover - The Five Stages of Sex

Sex starts in the mind.  You have to be able to think about sex in order to be aroused.  Thinking about sex releases hormones which will kick start the process.  Both men and women’s sexual experience starts in their mind.  For men they are stimulated visually which leads them down a path towards sex and women are stimulated emotionally and that can be anything including a visual stimulation – whatever stirs her emotions and gets her thinking in a sexual way.

Many times a woman struggles to get into sex mode in her mind and if she doesn’t she will not experience as much pleasure as she should.  A great way to get involved and force your mind onto sex is to watch his hands on your body and get visually involved.  You will very quickly start to put the shopping list at the back of your mind and begin to have sexual thoughts.
You have been thinking sexually so now you are aroused and ready to proceed.  Your clitoris is enlarging and your vagina is becoming moist.  You will start giving off pheromones at this point, so if your husband isn’t aroused he soon will be.  Too many people jump into sex at this point but if you really want to get the most out of your time with your husband make this stage last by enjoying a time of foreplay.   Take time to touch each other, cuddle, speak to each other and really get fully aroused before moving onto sexual touch.

Foreplay allows both your vagina and his penis time to become fully enlarged.  Enjoying non sexual touch is a great way of teasing each other into extreme arousal to ensure maximum pleasure.  It is here that you will start to release all sort of hormones that could even make you fantasise about sexual activity with your husband.  A man would do well to be patient and enjoy foreplay with his wife as she will be more willing to experiment and do exciting things if she is fully aroused.

Usually women reach orgasm by manual stimulation before her husband enters her with his penis.  Occasionally a man is able to bring his wife to orgasm with his penis but this is unlikely to happen for newlyweds as you really need to get to know each other’s bodies well.  Having an orgasm is a wonderful experience for both the husband and wife which release endorphins amongst many other hormones.   It has been proven scientifically that there are several health benefits to an orgasm including longevity.    

Great sex will leave you in a euphoric state for some time afterwards.  This does not mean that you should get up and get on with something else.  A time of relaxation together is an essential stage of love making.  Especially for a woman, as sex is a giving activity for her and a receiving activity for him.  Men are totally satisfied after sex but woman might not be, they might need some attention or a cuddle afterwards.  Some might even need a conversation but this isn’t always possible for a man after sex.  Get to know each other’s relaxation needs so that you sexual experience is complete and entirely satisfying.  

Find out more about Being a Lover here or get in touch to host your own Girl's Night.


  1. Anonymous28.11.16

    "Especially for a woman, as sex is a giving activity for her and a receiving activity for him."

    "Some might even need a conversation but this isn’t always possible for a man after sex."


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