I Have Only Three Friends

I have only three friends! This isn't because I am a sad loner, this is because I am selective and specific about who I call a friend. So many people come to me and say they want to be my friend but what they are really saying is that they want me to be their friend... if you know what I mean? What they are really saying is that they want me to be there for them, me to stay in touch with them, me to run around after all their needs. When the time comes that I have a need or when perhaps my world starts falling apart, where are all these people that said that they wanted to be my friend? Nowhere to be found - the relationship has become work and they have run off to find someone else who will make them happy!

This is not a negative, have a go at people post. This is a let's get real post. How many friends do you really have? I am passionate about building a church where people really care and where real friendships are grown. Of course we serve each others needs, of course we allow people close to us knowing that we will get hurt. More often than not a friendship starts with superficial things but I want to see people go deeper. I don't know what it's like in other countries but in England people are so very lonely. Real friendship doesn't seem to exist and small talk and complaining seem to be the order of the day. Didn't Jesus say that the world would know that we are His disciples by our love for one another? Christians I challenge you, stop adding people to your FaceBook page so that you can look popular, stop being the princess of small talk. and gossip Get down to the nitty gritty stuff, go beyond the needs of your flesh, get down to the often messy business of real, deep, meaningful relationships - so that the world will see Jesus in us.

My three friends have been my friend through all the season of my life. When things got tough they got their hands dirty with me, when money was tight they dug deep into their pockets to help me, when I was a pain the bum they still loved me. Even if I tried I could not shake these three people off. They have taken the time to understand my likes, my needs and my preferences. They have gone to great and uncomfortable lengths to express their love to me and they have always been there for me whenever I need them. My only hope is that I have been as good a friend to them.

I treasure my three friends and it may be a long time before I can proudly blog that I have a new friend because friendship take years to build and have to be tried and tested through every season. Jonathan and David understood friendship, they took it seriously to the point of making it official through a covenant. How seriously do we take our friendships today. Do we covenant that no matter what we will stick by them? Are we prepared to be inconvenienced and made uncomfortable by or for them.

Proverbs 27:6
Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.

Yes I have wounds and yes I have wounded but through it all I can safely say I have three real friends.


Marriage Tip #10 - Be Thankful

I wrote thankful & not grateful for this tip as I realised the importance of saying thank you. Especially for the little things. Sometimes I feel grateful when I see Eric do something for me but I have to remind myself that he doesn't know I am feeling grateful. It's so important to express gratitude by saying thank you. Lately I have been making a point of noticing the small things as I have been taking them for granted and even worse - I have started to expect things that I used to be grateful for. That's not nice & that can damage our marriage! Like my nice cup of coffee in the morning. I am so grateful that Eric brings me coffee but it has become a bit of a habit now and I have started expecting it. So just to make sure I don't become ungrateful and expect this nice treat I make sure I say thank you and from time to time I get up before him and make him a nice cup of tea.
A while ago Daniel & I didn't feel very well at all so Eric took care of us, did the grocery shopping, took Daniel to the doctor and took care of a whole lot of things. I made sure I said thank you for every single thing he did that day as I know he sacrificed his whole day to take care of us. I never want to take any of what Eric does or who is for granted so I constantly say thank you because I am truly grateful for the wonderful man that he is.


Depression Warning Signs

It is with great sadness that I share a story with you today about a friend of mine. This is what she wrote to me about her sister:

"It's so puzzling but she seems to have had some sort of mental breakdown which may have built up over a long period of time and to be honest I hadn't really spoken to her in a couple of months and was completely unaware of the situation until her husband called in tears. I went over there for four days. The second day I was there she had to be hospitalised because she hadn't eaten at all. She wouldn't say a word and apparently wasn't speaking for a week or two before this happened, just a word here and there. I spoke to her for hours on end and she just wouldn't say a word but would make eye contact. I'm pretty sure she understands what we say. Anyway she's in a psychiatric hospital now (I can't believe this), will actually be 2 weeks on Friday she'll have been there. When she got there they gave her medication and over the weekend she improved dramatically, still wasn't talking much and ignored a lot of what we said but was smiling and said a few sentences.
She's normal otherwise - making tea, changing clothes, reading etc. It's so odd. Especially with her kids who she loves to death and would never be away from for more than 24 hours, it's as though she's just not cared or detached. This last weekend I went down and she didn't say a word to me the whole afternoon I was there, wouldn't come out of her room and wasn't making eye contact at all. Apparently she hadn't eaten for 3 days but ate yesterday. She's refusing to take her medication completely this week which is why I think she's gone bad again. She doesn't talk to the medical staff and wouldn't see the doctor, so they all don't know how to help if she won't speak. The doctor will see her on Thursday again and hopefully she can respond this time so they can give her the help she needs.

Would really appreciate it if you could remember her in your prayers. I think over the years she has also overburdened herself with the homeschooling, taking care of my brother who lives with her and had issues of his own, issues with church and general life (marital problems although nothing major, mostly financial and I guess some stuff they didn't agree on - small stuff really)."

King's Daughters, please would you all pray for her, this Thursday mentioned above is this Thursday, 27th. Depression can hit anyone, it is essential to understand some of the warning signs and I will share some of my personal experiences with you in my next post. In the meantime please join me in prayer for this family.


Happy Birthday Darling xxx

I have the hottest, most amazing husband in the whole world!!! Best of all today is his birthday so I can make a fuss over him :) Happy Birthday Darling xxx

Eric has shown me the true meaning of being loved & he has shown me how AMAZING marriage is. I love our life and I am so grateful to him for loving me the way he does, for being so patient with me as I have worked through some difficult things. I admire his teachable spirit and his integrity. Eric is a man that has pure spirit - it is so refreshing to be around someone so lovely.

I don't think anyone knows him to way I do. Our church will never know how much he loves & cares for them, how much time & effort he puts into each sermon as well as all the other details of church life. How much he has sacrificed to build our Church & how much more he is willing to give in order to see more lives changed & set free. I honour you today my wonderful husband because I see all these things and I count it an honour to be your wife and to be on this journey with you. Have a lovely birthday today x



It Has Always Been There... Inside of Me

I can honestly say that I have never loved life as much as I do now - not ever! The things I am doing, the people I am meeting, the purpose to each day and the sense of destiny is incredible. As I sat pondering on how happy I am and how amazing life is something occurred to me. All this time my potential has been inside of me! I know that sounds obvious, but think about it for a minute. In order to have such joy and contentment, in order to live such an amazing life, all I have to do is be me. The more I discover what is already inside of me, the more amazing my life becomes. Some of what comes from inside of me had to be developed and matured and that required a process through the seasons of life. For example, I look at my role in church as executive pastor, and see that the years working as a project coordinator in a large London based construction company served as my season of preparation! I could not do what I am doing now as well as I am if I didn't embrace that season. I also see that the years of working my heart out on my own business also served as preparation for this season of church planting. Everything I needed has always been inside of me but I needed each season of my life to develop and mature it.

Perhaps you are not quite feeling fulfilled and content, do your best to embrace the season that you find yourself in right now as it may be essential for your next season. I loved life in each of the season but this is by far the best season ever. Perhaps I wouldn't fully be enjoying this season if I didn't fully enjoy those past season and embrace them and do my best in them. Even the rough seasons have served their purpose , if it weren't for them too I would never have made it through to this incredible stage of my life.


Fanny Adams Vintage

May I, with great enthusiasm, introduce one of our King's Daughter's to you. Her name is Jane Massam and she is the founder of Fanny Adams Vintage! It is such a treat to have Jane on our blog and I am sure you will find her story very inspiring - it's a rags to riches story.

Jane was at a point in her life where she wasn't sure exactly where God was leading her. Like most women Jane had girlish dreams of meeting and marrying her prince charming, having a bunch of children and settling down in their gorgeous country cottage home. Prince charming did come and whisk Jane off of her feet and soon after a country home was miraculously given to them. What a great start to a fairly tale life - a lovely husband and a mortgage free home.

Sadly the life that Jane planned didn't quite go according to the fairy tale plan, through many years of struggle and heartache it became apparent that it was a possibility that Wes and Jane were not going to be able to start a family of their own. It was in this season, when trying to make some sense of it all that Jane cheered herself up by making unique clothes for herself using vintage fabric trims and buttons. Friends and even passers-by in the street, would stop her and ask where she had bought her gorgeous bags or clothes. Many enquiries and many orders later she started cardigan parties where she would show off and sell her latest designs. One thing led to another, which led to her making 300 hand trimmed cardigans for none other than Cath Kidston.

It suddenly dawned on Jane that perhaps God wanted to her to pursue this talent that He had given her! Yes it did take a good few years for the penny to drop but it has dropped now and Jane has opened a fantastic shop in the gorgeous village of Blagdon where she sells the best organic, fairtrade coffee in England along with her creative jacket and cardigan designs. Her shop also showcases local items and even boasts a man corner with bits and bobs to keep the men busy while the women shop.

When visiting Jane recently and enjoying her amazing coffee, she said that she feels like this shop is her baby. I truly agree with Jane, she has given birth to a different sort of baby that will keep her awake some nights and I am sure will give her much delight over the years. You are an awesome woman of God who has taken a graceful swing at the curve balls that life has thrown you and come out on top. I truly admire you and all you have done with your life Jane and know that many women are going to look to you for encouragement, comfort and perhaps even help as they face difficult life circumstances. May God richly bless you and your business as you take these women under your wing and show them how to navigate their way through life’s storms.

To find out more about Jane browse her website


Welcome Guatemala!

Have you noticed our flag counter on the right hand margin of this blog? You can click on it to see full details too. It's great to see who is visiting us and where they are from. The latest visitor to King's Daughters is from Guatemala - isn't that awesome! So welcome to you our visitor from Guatemala - please do introduce yourself in the comments box below, we would love to hear from you :) Also to the rest of you wonderful King's Daughters, please introduce yourself and let us know where you are from.


Date Night

On date night last week Eric & I went to see Date Night, the movie! I laughed my head off from begining to end. I don't know how a single person would find it but as a married couple you will pick up on each and every joke and have a good chuckle! The story is basically about a couple who are concerned that their married is getting a little dull so they head off for a romantic date night in the city. I will say no more than that, watch the trailer here :)


Depression Solution - Make Lists

Yippee let's make a list - um... I guess not very exciting really! It's not the list making that is exciting it is what the list can do for you when you feel down. I have two lists; things that fill me and things that drain me. Every time I have found something that either fills me or drains me I write it on my list. This way when I am feeling drained and can remind myself of what fills me and force myself to do it. The list that drains me is a great tool too as it reminds me of what not to do too much of. Lists have really helped me over the years. I even have a list of who I am and who I am not. This has helped me so much too. On one occasion I was in an interview for a job I thought I would really like. I thought this job was a project manager role but half way through the interview I realised it was a personal assistant role. As soon as I realised this I said to the interviewer; "I am sorry, I don't want to waste your time, this job is not for me!" It was such a liberating experience; I have never turned down a job in an interview before. The reason I was able to do that is because on my list one of the things it said was - I am NOT a PA! I have done enough years of being a PA and moved into management roles to know that I really don't want to go back to being a PA.

On my list of things that fill me is playing my piano, longs walks, etc. What fills you and drains you?