Monthly Giveaway - What would you like?

Since this is our very first giveaway I thought I would let you choose!  What would you like - a King's Square CD or a Hope's Journey book or the January edition of Cotswold Style magazine that I was about to put in the recycle bin or the King's Square Songbook?  Simply let me know which one you want along with your name in the comment box  and I will randomly pick one and send you the item you chose.  The Monthly Giveaway is only open to people subscribed by email, so if you have not signed up do so quickly on the right hand sign up box.


Being a Woman - Wild & Captivating

If you are really serious about your journey with me this year in uncovering the truth about being a woman then I highly recommend these two books to you. Wild at Heart is an amazing book that really helps us to understand the heart and needs of men and how we are so very different to them.  Captivating truly is captivating, once you start reading you won't be able to stop, you will find yourself nodding all through the book as John & Stasi Eldredge uncover the truth of who we are as women.  I have discovered a two in one book on Amazon - a great buy!  If you have read either of these books please let us know what you thought of them?


Being a Wife - Who Understands Submission

Thanks so much for sending your questions in Tamara, they are questions that I think most woman ask.  I most certainly don't have all the answers but I will try and point you to what the Bible says.

'Talking about creation of the man and the women - were we created equal ? Or is the man a degree above the women. Is this because we are driven by different impulses and feelings or is this because we were created from him? Or is this because we tempted him with forbidden fruits?'

In Genesis 1:28 God blessed Adam and Eve together and gave them a mandate to subdue the earth together. In Genesis 3:16 when Adam and Eve were cursed after they sinned, God said that man will rule over women.  This was the reality for all women in the world until Jesus came.  In Galatians 3:13 it explains how Jesus redeemed us from the curse when He died on the cross, so that we no longer have to live under the curse any longer. Galatians 3:28 also states that we are one in Christ, there is no difference between us.

However, Ephesians 5:22 does speak of wives submitting to their husbands as to the Lord.  This is to do with family structure, an organisational plan so that we can run our homes smoothly.  It is not a curse or a command but a choice that we should make if we want to get the best out of our marriage.  To submit is to to surrender one's rights or will, it is a choice.  A husband can't make his wife submit, it is the wife's choice.  The word 'submit' does not convey inferiority of the woman. Men and women are still partners in life, but the wife chooses to submit to her husband in order to bring about a Godly balance in their marriage.

For me personally, this is how I view submission.  Eric and I run our home together, we are in business together and we pastor the Church together. We value each other's opinions and we make decisions together. We understand that we have different strengths and weaknesses so we try and complement each other with our strengths. I see submission as a blessing because it means that I don't have to be in control of everything all of the time.  Not being in control all the time means that I don't have to carry the weight of everything, leaving me to be free and peaceful.  Tell me something, what is more beautiful, a stressed out woman or a peaceful woman?  Submission is a blessing, it means that we can trust our husband to make good decisions at times and not have to carry the weight of them.  Sure we can give our opinion but we don't need to be in control all the time.

Therefore, submission has nothing to do with inferiority. If the wife does not support her husband and enjoy his leadership role, chaos will result.  Observe couples around you and see what looks better in your opinion.  I have done this and found it very interesting. It's not that I want to compare myself to other people but it's so that I can see with my own eyes what things look like from a different perspective.  I have observed some couples where there is little or no submission and I see continual strife and plain ugliness in the wife.  Other couples, sadly I have not seen many, have a husband that wants to lead (big key) and a wife that wants to submit.  It looks so wonderful and the harmony between them makes sense.  If we can get past the mindset of inferiority and equals then we can embrace the beautiful, natural balance that God has set in place for our families.

Picture this, a family at the airport terminal, the husband is pulling a nice pink wheelie suitcase and the wife is carrying all the heavy luggage along with the two year old in a carry frame on her back and the five year old is tagging along with her too. How does that image resonate within you?  It's not quite right is it?  A more acceptable picture would be that the husband would carry the heavy luggage and perhaps the child on his back while the wife pulls the wheelie case and holds the hand of the five year old. The husband is carrying the load and the wife is doing her part to help. This seems to make more sense, doesn't it?  The picture you get now is one of balance and harmony.  In a similar way, this is what our marriage should look like too.  Yet so often we find that it is not so.  women want to be the leader of the home, they want to be in control so they carry all the weight of things leaving the man to look like a bit of a wimp! This also leaves the women doing something that they were not designed to do thereby leaving them exhausted.  If your husband wanted to carry all the luggage at the airport while you did your part in helping, wouldn't you be pleased?  Then why do some of you insist on 'wearing the pants' in your marriage?  You are only robbing yourself, making yourself tired and making your husband look and feel like a wimp leaving him totally emasculated. 

I hope my simple illustrations have somehow helped you change your perception of submission.  Be a free woman, free to allow your man to be a man while you focus on being a beautiful woman.  

'The scriptures talks about prophets and disciples - all of which are male? - you don't hear about much about great women - except for Mary. Is this because we have different roles to play?'

There are many examples of great women in the Bible, there is Ruth, Esther, Sarah, Deborah to name but a few but I will go into each woman in detail in a separate post :)

'I do believe that women were created differently, built and designed to do things a man cannot, and visa versa. Have you ever heard the saying" behind every successful man, is a powerful women" - this is so true. I have living proof in my family. My granddad( God bless is soul) was a successful man because of my Grandmother. My dad only found his path in life because of my mother.

We need our men almost as much as they need us.. :-)'

I love that saying because it is so very true.  I have an awesome post lined up that goes into this in great detail and can't wait to get into it at our Girls Nights please leave a comment below or email me if you wish to remain anonymous.

More coming from Being a Wife, find out more here


Being a Woman - Beautiful Contrasts

Let's carry on with the theme of being made in the image of God since it is such a wonderful and powerful concept. I believe that we will uncover a lot of our identity as we begin to understand this truth. Genesis 2 expands on the day man and woman were made as mentioned in Genesis 1. Genesis 2:18-25 covers the process of God removing the woman from the man thereby creating one man and one woman - they were still mankind but represented in two people.  Why did God do this, why did he make woman?  Who is 'woman'?  
In my understanding, when God made mankind he made Adam fully masculine and fully feminine, perfectly balanced in his heart, just as He is. God thought it was not good that mankind be this way, He tried and tried to find a companion for Adam, but couldn't find a suitable helper for him, so He separated masculine and feminine.  He separated them so that they would need each other, depend on each other's differences and so that they would love.  Since the beginning of creation, God has been separating things, light from dark, land from sea, day from night and female from male.  It's a beautiful picture of a very necessary contrast. Without the separation and the contrast neither could be appreciated.  How could we know light if we never knew dark, how could we appreciate land if we never knew sea, how could we understand woman if we didn't know man? A lot of who we are can also be understood by who we are not.  The comparison is extremely helpful don't you think?
I have come to the conclusion that women express the heart of God  femininely and men masculinely. Both reflect the heart of God which is to love and to be loved. Does this help on our journey to discover what it means to be a woman?  I would love to hear your thoughts.

The Being a Woman book and worksheets are available here.


You are... a new creation

Artwork by  butterflypages.com

"If you were to see a butterfly, it would never occur to you to say, 'Hey, everybody! Come look at this good looking converted worm!'  Why not? After all, it was a worm.  And it was "converted."  No, now it is a new creature, and you don't think of it in terms of what it was.  You see it as it is now - a butterfly.  In exactly the same way, God sees you as His new creature in Christ. Although you might not always act like a good butterfly - you might land on things you shouldn't, or forget you are a butterfly and crawl around with your old worm buddies - the truth of the matter is, you are never going to be a worm again!"  From Classic Christianity by Bob George:

No glass will ever became sand again. No bread will ever became wheat again.  The new you will never be the old you again. You are a new creation, there is no going back now so choose how you will live, as the old you or as the new you!  It's your choice but in God's eyes,  you are a new creation.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.


Being a Woman

"What is the true meaning of being a woman?" The heart of a woman screams for romance and beauty, to be free to love extravagantly and to live intentionally. Should she be a 1950's housewife or the leader of a nation? Most women, especially Christian women, are rather confused about this whole subject. A great deal has been written on this subject, all with conflicting conclusions, leaving women not sure of what is true anymore. The Being a Woman book is a refreshing where we have taken certain Bible verses and pulled them apart at our weekly Girl's Nights. We have delved into the Bible to find the truth and only the truth, nothing but the truth! Each chapter includes a study guide which can be used for self study or for small group study. Our Girl’s Night group has taken the bold steps of answering these questions too and included our unashamed, honest, exposed answers at the end of each chapter. An inspiring read on being a woman with lively discussion  - it's NOT at all what you might think.

Available at: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | Kindle

The Five Stages of Being a Woman

Being a Woman
      In the Image of God
      With Sure Identity
      With Beautiful Contrasts
      With Purpose
      With Endurance
      That Needs to be Needed
      Who is Free
      Who is Not Ashamed
      Who Listens
      Who Has Enough
      Who is Grateful
      Who Judges Herself
      Who Does Not Conform
      Who Dresses Modestly     

      Who is Spirit filled
      Who is Silent
      Who Sits at Jesus Feet
      Who Knows Jesus 
      Who is Beautiful

Purchase Options
Which chapter would you like?

Study Notes:
For small group study, printable PDF notes and worksheets are available for each chapter at £1.20 per chapter.  Once you have purchased the PDF's you are welcome to print off as many copies as you need.  These notes offer thought provoking conversation guides that will guarantee a lively women's study group.


Being a Woman - With Sure Identity

Daniel & Amy

I love children - they are so sweet and innocent and say the most profound things at times. Today I was driving home from church with Daniel in the car. We were chatting and he said that he was scared of getting arrested by the police. Concerned, I asked why. Here is what he said,

"Because Tyler said that I was a naughty boy and that the police will arrest me."

I replied to that with a swift, "You are not a naughty boy and the police will definitely not arrest you."

"But Tyler said I am naughty", he replied

"Well I said you are a good boy and Tyler said you are a naughty boy, so who are you going to believe."

"God", Daniel innocently replied.

Surprised by his response I thought I would probe a bit more.

"What does God say about you then?" I asked

"I don't know", Daniel said.

"Well why don't you ask Him Daniel?"

Daniel shyly replied, "I don't know how to."

"Just close your eyes and ask God to tell you what He thinks of you", I said. "He will speak into your heart not into your ears".

So Daniel obediently closed His eyes and mumbled a little prayer to God. After a moment of silence he announced that He couldn't hear God. Hoping I was on the right path, I said,

"Daniel, God did speak to you, so tell me what you think He said."

After a short, thoughtful pause, Daniel piped up,

"God said that I am very special and that I am not a naughty boy!"

My heart leapt with glee, Daniel heard God, I just knew it! So I encouraged him to continue listening to God .  I tried to make sure that he understood that what He experienced was how God speaks.  That He speaks into his heart, which might just sound like his usual thoughts. Aren't children so precious!

The reason I wanted to share this little conversation with you, is because I was blown away at Daniel's understanding of his identity. Identity is a subject that I am extremely passionate about but there are no amount of clever words that could have summed it up as well as Daniel did! Without hesitation he knew that he didn't believe me or Tyler, he believed what God said about him. If only we could have such a simple basis for our identity. If only we didn't care about what anyone except God thought of us. Do you know who you are and what God thinks of you? Do what Daniel did, close your eyes and ask Him.

The Being a Woman book and worksheets are available here.


Passion & Purity

"God made us girls for extravagant, wild, imaginative, adventurous, fantastic loving!"

The heart of a woman yearns for love, fantasises about romance and dreams of being someone’s princess. 21st century living has robbed us of that simple heart cry and Hollywood has fed us lies about romance. We need to fight for our passion & purity to take back the awesome adventure of living and loving without compromising our purity. 

Angela openly shares of how her search for passion ended up in adultery and how she managed to find a way back to purity. A must read for any woman who wants to be free to live and love with passion and purity. 

Available at: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | Kindle
StudyGuide: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | More Info

Robbed of Purity   
Searching for Passion 
Lies of Love   
Dating Games   
Rescued by the Prince   
Rebuilding My Soul
    I Am Forgiven   
    I Am Valuable   
    I Am Pure   
    I Am Beautiful   
    I Am Loved   
    I Am a Weaker Vessel   
    I Am Worth Fighting For  
Diamonds from Coal
Happily Ever After 

The Power of Forgiveness
Affair Proof Your Marriage 

Being a Woman - Image of God

My deep desire is to find the truth so I thought I would start right at the beginning of the Bible - Genesis.  When God made us women what exactly did He mean?  To fully understand woman we need to understand how woman was created. She was created as part of a man (meaning mankind). Before Male & Female existed  a human was only known as man (mankind not male gender). Most importantly we can also see that man (mankind) was made in the image of God.  Before there was male and female definition, there was image of God definition - this is our most basic identity.
So what is the image of God?  Does God look like a manwoman (both male and female)? Of course not, God doesn't have a body He is a spiritual being.  Our hearts are the shadow of God's heart, that is the image of God that we bear.  So in order to truly understand who we are, we need to understand what is in our heart - the core of our being. 

Take some time this week to observe what is in your heart. and as you find things write them down.  Record your desires & your dreams, record the things that you find yourself daydreaming about and write down the secret things that you long for.  If it's not too personal please share them in the comment box below as we explore this area together.

The Being a Woman book and worksheets are available here.


The Loving Life Series

Click for larger image

Due to the number of requests for the other two books in the Loving Life Series I have decided to make them available for pre-order - they will be coming out before the official launch date so pre-order today here :)


Being a Wife - Heterosexual or Not?

Thank you to everyone that has sent their thoughts in, I wanted to discuss a few comments here before we continued.  Here is one reader's comment:

"My opinion? Rather than asking what being a wife is, which assumes marriage and a heterosexual couple, I think more important is asking what being a partner is.  That comprehends wives, husbands, married couples or not, same sex or not, wedd...ed according to religious views or ...not - all equally valid expressions of love and ways of sharing your life with someone important to you. And that means sharing joys and responsibilities, making each other laugh, doing things together and also having individual moments, being there for good and bad times, being supportive and sharing opinions and being tolerant of different ones, respecting and being respected. It's great!!"

I think that some of the things that were said here are really valuable and true in any relationship.  The thing that I would like to pick up on is that of being a partner as opposed to a wife.  Our aim in this year's focus is to find the truth, based on the Bible, about what it really means to be a woman.  When we were created God had a perfect plan.  His perfect plan guaranteed a perfect life and pure joy of every sort.  Sadly human beings messed up God's wonderful plan by choosing to disobey His one tiny little request - do not eat of one specific tree in the garden! Since then we have been separated from God and His perfect plan for us, thankfully He sent Jesus to fix the mess and make a way for us to be reunited to God. Although we have the option of reconciliation we still have to live in the messed up world that resulted from Adam & Eve's mistake!  This is where the Bible comes in, it is the handbook to life and helps us find out God's perfect plan for us. This is why we are going to explore the Bible over 2011 to find out exactly what His perfect plan is for women.

On this basis I am going to have to disagree with the thought that we should be exploring 'partner' as opposed to 'wife'.  'Wife, which assumes marriage and a heterosexual couple', is the only sort of wife mentioned in the Bible.  It is crystal clear that any other sort of relationship is not God's perfect plan and I really, with all my heart, want to find God's perfect plan.  It's not that I judge anyone who has decided to live a different lifestyle, it is completely your choice and I am friends with many people who lead all sorts of alternative lifestyles.   I have homosexual friends whom I love dearly, I have friends that are unmarried and live together whom I love dearly too. These friends can vouch for my sincere love for them as people :) but as far as this 'Being a Woman' series goes, we are going to make the default assumption that when we refer to wife and marriage I am writing on the basis of a heterosexual couple only.

Thank you so much for your response to this series, if you wish to discuss your opinion on being a wife then please leave your comment below or if you wish to remain anonymous please email to me.


Being a Wife - Time & Location

I have been throwing some ideas around in my head about being a wife.  What does it mean to be a Godly wife?  To start off with I wanted to eliminate some things that are assumptions either from the time or the country that we live in.  I would love to hear your views before I get stuck into sharing some of mine.  What do you think is essential to being a wife and what do you think is purely determined by the time or country that we live in?  Even if you are not married, please share your thoughts, I am really excited about getting stuck into this subject :)



Tyndale House Publishers provided me with a complimentary copy of this book in order to facilitate an honest review.  At first I didn't feel that the book offered anything new but I decided to keep an open mind as I continued to read.  Surprisingly, even though I can't put my finger on the exact moment, something changed inside of me.  Perhaps it was a deeper awareness of stuff or perhaps it was a changed perspective of stuff.  Never-the-less, whatever it was, it was good.  I didn't think that  I had a problem with stuff, as I lead a simple life, and try to avoid most of the trappings of modern living.  Or so I thought.  It seems I am just like everyone else in many ways and Unstuff really did exposed this in me.
If you want to truly open up your heart to consider whether you have a stuffing problem, then this is the book for you.  Since we are focusing on women this year, I would recommend this book as a great way to take stock of your relationship with stuff.  Stuff is anything that gets between you and your relationship with God.  We all have it, so why not take a good honest look at your relationship with stuff.

Secure on the Rock

Every little girl wants to know that their daddy thinks they are beautiful! As we grow older that need doesn’t change, but what if your daddy didn't call you beautiful? What if he hurt you and did things that he shouldn't do?  How can you feel beautiful or believe that your Father in heaven loves you when you have no idea what that means?  Secure on the Rock is an emotional roller coaster ride through Angela's experiences with her earthly daddy and the security she finally found in the heart of her heavenly daddy. 

Available at:  Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | Kindle

StudyGuide: Amazon.com | Amazon.co.uk | More Info
Free Audio:  Part 1 - Insecurity | Part 2 - Daddy 

My Daddy - A Sandy Foundation
My Darling - Freedom from controlling insecurity
My Daughters - Discovering my daddy’s delight in me
My Rescuer - Being rescued by my Prince
My Redeemer - Being pieced back together
My Rock - No turning back
My Only Hope - A life worth living

Being a Woman - 2011 Invitation

Happy New Year!
This year I am going to intentionally focus on one thing on this blog!  By the end of  2011 I would like to be able to answer one big question!  The question is... "What is the true meaning of being a woman?"   

I know you might think this an odd question, but to be honest I am slightly confused at times.  I have some thoughts, some preferences and even some convictions - which I will share with you through out the year.  I also have some concerns and some fears about being a woman - I will also share these with you.  The bottom line is that I know deep down inside that God had a perfect plan when He designed us male and female.  It wasn't random and we weren't a second thought, a plan B.  He made us male and female and said that it was good!  I look at the world around me today and what I see is not good.  I see confusion, hurt, fear and desperation.  This is not good.  Men don't know how to be men and women no longer understand how to be woman.  This has lead to the breakdown of families and ultimately wrecked our country and the world that we live in.  It should come completely naturally to us but somehow it has all got messed up.  I intend to get to the bottom of it, with your help of course :)  

I would like to invite you.. challenge you, to explore what God has to say about all this.  As our church focuses on building families this year, with Dave focusing on building the children and as Eric focuses on building the men in the family, I would love us girls to explore our part of the family as mother, wife, daughter or sister.  We will search the Bible, we will pray, we will openly discuss and see what we can come up with.  It won't be about what is right or wrong, there is already too much of that going about!  It will be about simply searching for the truth - who are we really and how do we live as God intended us to live - free and in abundance.  I  challenge you to join me on this journey to discover God's design and purpose of  women.  This journey is an open discussion both here on my blog and through regular King’s Daughters events that you are invited to, where we can explore and discover the true meaning of womanhood.  Would you like to join me in this journey?

If you have any questions you want to explore please leave a comment below or if you want to remain anonymous please email them to me.

The Being a Woman book and worksheets are available here.