TOCP - A Wolf and Abandonment

It was 2am and we were still sitting in our living chatting with the two young men that might well have been our future sons-in-law. Perhaps that was looking too far ahead, but as a mother, I was always on the lookout for potential husbands for my girls. Very ‘Pride and Prejudice’ I know, but unless you are a mother with young ladies at home, you will never understand the insane drive within a mother to find a suitable match for her girls. 

Lorah-Kelly, Jordan, Eric and I sat with the boys and were glad that we had finally met some Christians that seemed to be mature in their faith. Up until this point, we had struggled along with raising the lost and the baby Christians that were born in our church. Determined not to build a church on transfer growth, we pushed forward with what and whom we had.  It was a relief though, to think that perhaps God was sending some labourers to us, to help us with our work. 

We began spending more and more time with these two young boys and were quite sure that they were sent as helpers to help us stir up our young teenage believers. Very quickly we began to bond and it wasn’t long before they started bringing their friends and family to church. We were thrilled, not only were they mature Christians but they were also bringers. 

At the same time we started relying heavily on another family that joined us as soon as the church was launched. They too had been Christians for some time and they were also bringing their friends and family to church. We were growing steadily and everything looked great. For the sake of privacy we will change everyone’s names in this chapter, let’s call the two young boys Matt and Sam and the family the Smiths. 

We also discovered that Matt and Sam, along with their friends and family, were well acquainted with the Smiths too. It all seemed good, everyone knew everyone and they were all getting along very well. Everything seemed fine and dandy, people were getting saved almost every Sunday and church was growing steadily each week. We trusted Matt and Sam with our daughters and allowed them to go out together to socialise. Great friendships were forming and there was nothing to be concerned about, or so we thought.

It wasn’t long before we allowed the Smiths to host a connect group and to lead in our church. They truly were a wonderful family and they had been with us since the beginning, so it made sense to allow them to grow into a leadership role.

Matt and Sam started meeting up with our young Christians for Bible study so that they could help them find their way. We didn’t offer the sort of ‘thing’ they were doing ‘officially’ in our church but we figured that there would be no harm in a bunch of young people getting together to study the Bible and pray for each other. It was quite nice actually; it took the pressure off of us to keep finding new and creative ways to ‘feed’ them. 

After some time we noticed that the young Christians were not doing so well. We could not put a finger on it but the fruit simply didn’t seem good. A few weeks after we started to feel concerned we were alerted that the Smith’s were hosting a Bible study in their home for all our young teenage Christians. Again, probably not something that should raise a concern, but we were concerned because it was being led by Matt and Sam’s father. Their father was not a member of our church and had openly come against Eric and I as leaders, as well as against the pastor who had released us to plant our church. 

We called the Smith’s in for a meeting and lovingly explained our concerns and that as leaders in our church; they really shouldn’t start things up without at least chatting to us about it first. The content of the Bible studies were discussed which raised further concerns as it turned out that they were being taught exclusively about the end times and Revelations - not a subject that we would jump into with new Christians. 

The Smith’s received what we had to say very well and agreed with our concerns. According to their own free will they stopped the Bible study at their home as they realised that it was doing more damage than good. This of course infuriated Matt and Sam’s father as he could not understand why they felt that they had to do this. He continued to visit the Smith’s home almost daily to try and ‘teach’ them about the Bible and the error of their ways with regards to rejecting his Bible study. He also made it very clear that Eric and I were not fit to lead a church. A few weeks passed and we discovered that the new Christians were confused about many things. They came to us with questions but sadly some of them went back to Matt and Sam’s father for guidance. 

It wasn’t long before Matt and Sam became upset with our rejection of their father. After many long debates in person and very long emails with them, they left our church. They stayed in touch with our daughters and most of the teenagers and then began stirring the teenagers up against us. Soon the teenagers started leaving our church too. Many of them were totally confused and had lost the way of their simple faith. They had too many unanswered questions. Questions that really didn’t need answers but the teaching they received blinded them to the simple love of Jesus and opened up a theological can of worms – something they were not ready to deal with.
Eric and I were grieved. 

This is a chapter snippet from The Tale of a Church Planter, to buy a copy and find out what happened next in our adventures go here.


  1. It's so hard to know what the future holds. I'm just praying that God will bring strong, grounded, Christ following friends into my kids lives. And after reading this, that He will bring grace filled, discerning, spiritually sensitive teachers to encourage them in their walk with Christ too!

    1. Angela4.5.12

      I agree Epic. Thankfully His grace is sufficient for us and all things work together for good :) x