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Being a Wife - Who Understands Submission

Thanks so much for sending your questions in Tamara, they are questions that I think most woman ask.  I most certainly don't have all the answers but I will try and point you to what the Bible says.

'Talking about creation of the man and the women - were we created equal ? Or is the man a degree above the women. Is this because we are driven by different impulses and feelings or is this because we were created from him? Or is this because we tempted him with forbidden fruits?'

In Genesis 1:28 God blessed Adam and Eve together and gave them a mandate to subdue the earth together. In Genesis 3:16 when Adam and Eve were cursed after they sinned, God said that man will rule over women.  This was the reality for all women in the world until Jesus came.  In Galatians 3:13 it explains how Jesus redeemed us from the curse when He died on the cross, so that we no longer have to live under the curse any longer. Galatians 3:28 also states that we are one in Christ, there is no difference between us.

However, Ephesians 5:22 does speak of wives submitting to their husbands as to the Lord.  This is to do with family structure, an organisational plan so that we can run our homes smoothly.  It is not a curse or a command but a choice that we should make if we want to get the best out of our marriage.  To submit is to to surrender one's rights or will, it is a choice.  A husband can't make his wife submit, it is the wife's choice.  The word 'submit' does not convey inferiority of the woman. Men and women are still partners in life, but the wife chooses to submit to her husband in order to bring about a Godly balance in their marriage.

For me personally, this is how I view submission.  Eric and I run our home together, we are in business together and we pastor the Church together. We value each other's opinions and we make decisions together. We understand that we have different strengths and weaknesses so we try and complement each other with our strengths. I see submission as a blessing because it means that I don't have to be in control of everything all of the time.  Not being in control all the time means that I don't have to carry the weight of everything, leaving me to be free and peaceful.  Tell me something, what is more beautiful, a stressed out woman or a peaceful woman?  Submission is a blessing, it means that we can trust our husband to make good decisions at times and not have to carry the weight of them.  Sure we can give our opinion but we don't need to be in control all the time.

Therefore, submission has nothing to do with inferiority. If the wife does not support her husband and enjoy his leadership role, chaos will result.  Observe couples around you and see what looks better in your opinion.  I have done this and found it very interesting. It's not that I want to compare myself to other people but it's so that I can see with my own eyes what things look like from a different perspective.  I have observed some couples where there is little or no submission and I see continual strife and plain ugliness in the wife.  Other couples, sadly I have not seen many, have a husband that wants to lead (big key) and a wife that wants to submit.  It looks so wonderful and the harmony between them makes sense.  If we can get past the mindset of inferiority and equals then we can embrace the beautiful, natural balance that God has set in place for our families.

Picture this, a family at the airport terminal, the husband is pulling a nice pink wheelie suitcase and the wife is carrying all the heavy luggage along with the two year old in a carry frame on her back and the five year old is tagging along with her too. How does that image resonate within you?  It's not quite right is it?  A more acceptable picture would be that the husband would carry the heavy luggage and perhaps the child on his back while the wife pulls the wheelie case and holds the hand of the five year old. The husband is carrying the load and the wife is doing her part to help. This seems to make more sense, doesn't it?  The picture you get now is one of balance and harmony.  In a similar way, this is what our marriage should look like too.  Yet so often we find that it is not so.  women want to be the leader of the home, they want to be in control so they carry all the weight of things leaving the man to look like a bit of a wimp! This also leaves the women doing something that they were not designed to do thereby leaving them exhausted.  If your husband wanted to carry all the luggage at the airport while you did your part in helping, wouldn't you be pleased?  Then why do some of you insist on 'wearing the pants' in your marriage?  You are only robbing yourself, making yourself tired and making your husband look and feel like a wimp leaving him totally emasculated. 

I hope my simple illustrations have somehow helped you change your perception of submission.  Be a free woman, free to allow your man to be a man while you focus on being a beautiful woman.  

'The scriptures talks about prophets and disciples - all of which are male? - you don't hear about much about great women - except for Mary. Is this because we have different roles to play?'

There are many examples of great women in the Bible, there is Ruth, Esther, Sarah, Deborah to name but a few but I will go into each woman in detail in a separate post :)

'I do believe that women were created differently, built and designed to do things a man cannot, and visa versa. Have you ever heard the saying" behind every successful man, is a powerful women" - this is so true. I have living proof in my family. My granddad( God bless is soul) was a successful man because of my Grandmother. My dad only found his path in life because of my mother.

We need our men almost as much as they need us.. :-)'

I love that saying because it is so very true.  I have an awesome post lined up that goes into this in great detail and can't wait to get into it at our Girls Nights please leave a comment below or email me if you wish to remain anonymous.

More coming from Being a Wife, find out more here


  1. thats a great analogy Ange!

    I find my husband has strengths in areas where I have considerable weakness... like being disciplines with finances. If I had my way I would buy those shoes... and those ones, and this dress to go with them too! But, being accountable to him for how I spend our money, regardless of who earned it, has made it possible for us to do more wise things with our fincnaces, plan for the future as well as go on some nice holidays.

    It has given me such a sense of peace knowing that I dont have to worry about the finances - all I have to do is my part in playing by the agreed game plan we have established.


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