Being a Lover is based on two assumptions. You might try to apply the principles in Being a Lover outside of these assumptions and you may even have some fun but for full sexual satisfaction and purity, you will need to understand the basics.
Firstly, sex is for heterosexuals only. You are created with either an ‘innie’ or and ‘outie’. One is designed to fit into the other. Two ‘innies’ or two ‘outies’ are not meant to fit into each other – you can try but you were not designed to enjoy sex by perverting God’s design. Just think of an electrical plug, when you connect a male plug to a female socket you get electricity. Try to connect two male plugs to each other you get nothing! Try and stick things other than a plug into a female socket and you will get an electrical shock. Just accept things the way they are. God designed certain things in a certain way and when things are used in the way they were designed they will always work best.
Sex is made for one man and one woman who are married to each other. Genesis makes this very clear to us in chapter 2 verse 24 - “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Marriage was God’s idea too. All sexual activity outside of marriage cannot be blessed by God. Another indication that God’s design for marriage was exclusively a heterosexual union is in His design for procreation, which can be found in Genesis 1:28 when God blessed Adam and Eve’s union and told them to “be fruitful and multiply”.
The Bible calls all sexual activity outside of marriage sexual immorality. Sexual immorality is not God's perfect plan. Choosing to do things your way and not God’s way will have consequences to bear. Too many people believe that God wants to keep them from having fun. Thinking this way is only as immature as a child thinking it is not fair to eat cake and sweets right before dinner time. Some things just work better when done in the right time.
God is a loving father who gave us the pleasure of sex as long as it is done in the right context. It's not that we should judge anyone who has decided to live a different lifestyle, it is completely their choice and I am friends with many people who lead all sorts of alternative lifestyles. My homosexual friends and unmarried sexually active friends, all of whom I love dearly, can vouch for my sincere love for them. Most of the people I know are involved in some form of sexual immorality but our place as Christians is to love people and help them find Jesus. Judging people will only turn them away from God unless they are already believers!
An immoral believer is a different category and they should be judged as it says in 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 - “I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person. For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.” (bold emphasis mine)
Sexual immorality is serious to God and he expects us not to tolerate it amongst ourselves if we call ourselves Christian. We judge this, and the other offences listed, amongst ourselves. We should take it very seriously. However, God will judge those who are ‘outside’, we are called to love the lost. A sinner will sin. We were all once sinners and were trapped in sin which is why we needed Jesus to save us and clean us up. For those of us that call ourselves a Christian, let’s take sexual purity seriously. Being a Lover assumes that when we refer to sex we are building on the foundation of heterosexual married couples only. You cannot ask God to bless your sin. Sex outside of Biblical guidelines is sin.