Yes I know this subject seems a bit strange, but I can't tell you how many lonely people I have met who genuinely don't know how to make new friends. I am no expert on this as I am an introvert who is quite content with my own company ha ha. Never-the-less over the years I have had to step out of my comfort zone and intentionally build friendships. I will share what has worked for me but I would be very grateful if you could share what works for you too as different personalities approach things from different angles. If you are an outgoing sort of person you are probably laughing at this post as you are constantly surrounded by people, but I would like to challenge you too. How deep are your friendships?
To make friends I would suggest:
Get around people:
It's very difficult to meet people if you don't put yourself in a position to meet people. Church of course is a great place and even better is to get involved in church life. Another idea could be to join a club in an area that you interested in like a gardening club, a book club, a walking group, etc.
Talk to people
Again something you would think obvious but to many people not. You can't wait and see who comes and talks to you, you really have to make the effort to talk to people. I have heard so many people from churches complain that no one came to talk to them! My question is always, so who did you go and talk to?
Care about people:
My best friends are through either me seeing their need and caring for them or through them seeing my need and caring for me. Not one of my friendships have started any other way, they have all started through genuine caring for a need.
Endure with people:
We are all human and full of flaws. When your new friend disappoints you and doesn't meet up to your expectation don't ditch them! A good friendship is always a result of enduring the tough times. None of my friendships were a walk in the park, they have all had seasons of endurance. I have annoyed them and they have annoyed me - it's guaranteed to happen but it's what you do with it that counts.
It's not all about you:
Have you ever known someone who never stops talking about themselves, their needs and their struggles? I have known people like that and based on how they have made me feel I have determined to be careful not to be like that myself. My friends who don't have babies don't want to hear me go on about my babies all the time but if I do they try to listen attentively for as long as I need to talk. On the flip side my friends are interested in things that I am not interested in but because they are my friends I do my best to learn about these things that interest them. Give and take, that's it in a nutshell! It's not always going to be about what you want to talk about.
These are my top tips, there are more but I would rather here your views. How do you go about making and keeping friends?
To make friends I would suggest:
Get around people:
It's very difficult to meet people if you don't put yourself in a position to meet people. Church of course is a great place and even better is to get involved in church life. Another idea could be to join a club in an area that you interested in like a gardening club, a book club, a walking group, etc.
Talk to people
Again something you would think obvious but to many people not. You can't wait and see who comes and talks to you, you really have to make the effort to talk to people. I have heard so many people from churches complain that no one came to talk to them! My question is always, so who did you go and talk to?
Care about people:
My best friends are through either me seeing their need and caring for them or through them seeing my need and caring for me. Not one of my friendships have started any other way, they have all started through genuine caring for a need.
Endure with people:
We are all human and full of flaws. When your new friend disappoints you and doesn't meet up to your expectation don't ditch them! A good friendship is always a result of enduring the tough times. None of my friendships were a walk in the park, they have all had seasons of endurance. I have annoyed them and they have annoyed me - it's guaranteed to happen but it's what you do with it that counts.
It's not all about you:
Have you ever known someone who never stops talking about themselves, their needs and their struggles? I have known people like that and based on how they have made me feel I have determined to be careful not to be like that myself. My friends who don't have babies don't want to hear me go on about my babies all the time but if I do they try to listen attentively for as long as I need to talk. On the flip side my friends are interested in things that I am not interested in but because they are my friends I do my best to learn about these things that interest them. Give and take, that's it in a nutshell! It's not always going to be about what you want to talk about.
These are my top tips, there are more but I would rather here your views. How do you go about making and keeping friends?
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