A God Shaped Hole II

"In the effort to make things perfect, a woman can beg her man to be like the one over there. She's hoping that if he could change, she'd finally be whole. When the man feels that he is asked to be something he wasn't ever made to be, when he senses the pressure to meet expectations that seem unattainable, when he wants to fill but doesn't really understand how to pour, after years of talking and trying and talking some more the man can step back in frustration. The woman tries to counter the distance by leaning and desperately asking him for more. And he might try from miles away, but he can't. So he looks across the back yard and wonders if his neighbours woman has these needs. Maybe she doesn't. Maybe a woman like her could appreciate a man like him. And his heart wonders away. And he gives up on romance with the one he has loved and the passion dies. And the heart of the woman who has expected the man to be enough dies with it. The woman is a mystery that the man can't unlock. Her desires seem to him like a moving target. He can't ever seem to get it right. He can't figure our how to be enough to please her... to make her happy... to keep her heart swooning. It's not that he shouldn't try. It's just that you and I must understand: the man will never be all that you need. Here is one thing I can say with great confidence: The man that you love is just a man. He may be your soul mate. He is possibly your best friend. He may be hunky and funny and surprising and strong, but he will never - not in a million years - not if he goes to relationship therapy twice a week and keeps every promise ever written - be enough to fill your soul... He will never make you whole. He wasn't make to be enough. He could not be even if he tried. He is just a man, and he can give only as a man and interact as a man and love as a man. He wasn't designed to fill the depth of a woman's longings, anticipate every need, and jump through every hoop. He can't. Those deep places inside you were made for God."

This is an extract from the most beautiful book that I read over and over again, Do You Think I'm Beautiful by Angela Thomas. She really captures the essence of us as woman and shows us who we really are and how to release our girlish potential. If you really want to be all you can be I highly recommend this book to you.


  1. Anonymous25.6.10

    Oh my golly golly gosh, I firmly believe byou really are inside my head! I had this conversation with a good friend this morning. I wasnt as eloquant as Angela T but I'm with her all the way. So hard to remember this on a da to day basis.

    Were your ears burning on Wednesday? Jane and I were talking about you. x x x

  2. Anonymous25.6.10

    Yay so nice to know my posts are making sense to at least one person out there :) Yes I agree it is hard to remember this sometimes but it is really important isn't it.
    Have a lovely sunny weekend.


  3. Anonymous15.9.10

    Wow. Sometimes we think only us haves such thoughts or problems. But I guess men and women are just too different and only God can help us to love and keep loving and getting along and loving more and more no matter our differences. We really need always to invite Jesus to be three in our marriages otherwise is not possible to keep it holy and strong.