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Being a Wife - Who is Happy

Happiness is not something that happens to you but it is something that you make happen. Well actually, God makes it happen every morning (Psalm 30:5) but it’s up to us whether or not we embrace it or reject it. 

As wives, we often tend to expect our husbands to make us happy. When he doesn’t we get upset. This leaves him feeling like a failure and leaves us wondering why he won’t make us happy! The biggest mistake we can ever make as wives is to depend solely on our husbands to make us happy. He can’t. It’s not possible for one man to make a woman entirely happy. It cannot be done and expecting it to happen is setting you both up for disappointment. 

To have a truly happy marriage you need to have two happy individuals. So how do we become a happy wife? Firstly, we let our husbands off the hook and start taking responsibility for our own happiness. Secondly, we turn to the Holy Spirit because happiness or joy is a fruit of the spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23) And thirdly, we choose to be happy and not negative. 

Happiness is a choice. Two people can be in exactly the same circumstances in life, one person can be miserable and grumpy as a result and the other could be full of joy. Life’s circumstances do not dictate whether or not we are happy but our attitude to them will. Every morning, when you open your eyes, you can declare out loud, “This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” (Psalm 118:24) 

Did you notice the ‘will’ in this verse? It doesn’t say we will see how the day goes and then decide at the end if it was a happy or miserable day. It doesn’t say, we will see how kind our husband has been, how well the children have behaved and how well the traffic flowed and decided if it was a good day or not. No, it says we will rejoice and be glad in it. 

This is a choice, an act of your will that you declare in the morning. You will be happy. You have decided that your day will be good. You will rejoice and be glad in it! The power to be happy is in your mind, only you can choose to be happy or not. You husband may attempt to make you happy, but if that is what your happiness depends on then it will only last as long as your husband can keep it up. 

When he gets busy with his day or forgets to be a slave to your happiness, you will get unhappy again. Let him off the hook, give the poor guy a break, let him get on with what God has called him to do. Choose to be a happy wife. You cannot lose. No matter how tough life gets, no one can steal your joy if your joy stems from an act of your will.

One final thought. There is one place and one place only where you can achieve the maximum experience of joy, the highest level of satisfaction and the ultimate pleasure. There is only one experience unparallel to any other happy experience and that is in God’s presence. He will show you the path of life; In His presence is fullness of joy; At His right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)

Now doesn’t that sound like something worth having in your life, who would say ‘no thanks’ to pleasures forevermore? Be a happy wife and inspire others to too be happy too.

Find out more about Being a Wife here or about using our material to host your own Girl's Night here.


  1. cynthia21.3.12

    Amen! this are words full of wisdom Angela,i pray that we will put it into actions in our daily sure its everyone desire to be happy.God bless Xxxx


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