Marriage Tip #11 - Discuss Expectations

Marriages often start falling apart when the communication dies down.  While Eric & I  were dating we were eager to chat about all of our plans for the future and spent hours talking about how great out life would be.  After we were married these conversation became less and less and day-to-day real life kicked in.  One of the things I realised that we stop talking about was our expectations of each other.  I have an internal list of things that I would love Eric to do for me and ways I would like him to treat me.  This list can range from really small things like emptying the bin to very important things like how he treats me in public or in front of his parents.

As soon as we stop communicating our expectations, bitterness and disappointment sets in.  Bitterness and disappointment, if left unchecked can lead to a failed marriage and even divorce.  It's a scary thought, to think that our marriage could fail just because we stopped talking to each other.  Take time to remember where it all began and get chatting again like when you were first in love - I know Eric & I are going to :)

Once you have had a good trip down memory lane, sit down with your husband and lovingly discuss the expectations you have of him and any disappointments you may have.  The trip down memory lane is essential before you begin the conversation, to ensure that your heart is in the right place.  Be reasonable and explain to him that this is just a discussion about how you are feeling, it's not a list of criteria that he has to meet.  Once you have shared you feelings, allow him to respond about how he feels about it. Don't demand that he meets all your expectations but reasonable work out how you can come together in understanding.  Accept the things he says he can't meet right now and thank him for the things he is willing to work on.  Most importantly, allow him to share his expectations and disappointments and be willing to work on a few things yourself too.

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