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19.2.11

Secure on the Rock - My Rescuer

Being rescued by my Prince

Her long, shiny, blond hair blew in the wind as she screamed a desperate scream of anguish. Within seconds, the handsome prince rode up on his white stead. His sharp, glistening sword immediately severed the ropes setting the princess free, rescuing her from the evil clutches of the nasty, foul smelling tyrant. The handsome prince swept the princess off her feet and onto his stead and off they both rode into the sunset. They both lived happily ever after in their beautiful castle on the hill.
For me it didn’t quite happen like that but it DID happen! Fairly tales are real and princes do rescue princesses and life is a great, big, magical adventure!
Here are some journal entries from my romantic story of intrigue, romance and rescue from the evil clutches of my tormentor. These entries are from a time before I had ever met Eric, from a time where I was recovering from a few relationships that had turned out badly. I was a broken woman, a single mother and was desperately seeking God yet again to rescue me from the mess I had made of my life.

1 September 2003

I woke up with the sun streaming through my bedroom window. It was a gorgeous sunny day in London and I woke up feeling particularly excited this Sunday morning. Peace, joy and extreme favour was flowing over me and I felt unusually loved by my wonderful daddy in heaven.
Today was going to be a good day, I could tell. I had a bounce in my step and a song in my heart. In fact I had a very particular song in my head and I sung it all the way to church. I had a suspicious feeling that we were going to sing this very song in church this morning and when we did God was going to do something very special in my heart. I was so excited. The expectancy was high and I couldn’t stop thinking that there was something special about this day!
The worship was beautiful and I sung in my prettiest voice to God so He could feel my love. It was so special but we didn’t sing that particular song. The one that I was convinced we were going to sing. The one that I thought God was going to do someone really significant in. Oh well, not to worry, perhaps I was wrong. Still excited though, I settled into my seat and started listening to the sermon.
During the sermon the visiting preacher said that anyone who felt that they were in a crisis should stand up. I knew I was at this service for breakthrough and I came fully expecting it, so I stood up. Perhaps this was the special moment that I was so excited about. I have been really struggling and wrestling with many heart issues lately and the whole “I hate myself” thing. How had I managed to stoop so low and get to this place where I deeply hate and despise the woman I had become?
Without God’s help there was no real future for me, so when I stood up I felt fully justified in classifying my circumstances as a crisis! The preacher man prayed and I waited with baited breath for God to zap me. Nothing happened. I felt nothing. Oh well, I knew that you don’t always need to feel anything for God’s touch to be powerful and real. I had kind of hoped for something radical though, something a bit more memorable, but not to worry, I know in time the fruit would show! The preacher continued with his message a little longer then said;

“If there’s anyone here who needs a new beginning, a fresh start, a clean slate in life right now, stand up. As we sing this song trust God for a new beginning.”

The first notes of the song seized my heart! This was it! This was the song that I had been singing all morning and this was the moment that I had been so excited about. My heart was pounding and I knew I had to stand again. I stood to my feet all the while feeling very nervous. It was as if a thousand people in the service along with all of heaven were watching me. I sang the song with all my heart while the preacher prayed for everyone. I was sure everyone could hear my heart pounding as it was so strong. I stood struggling to sing the words of the song but determined to get a few out. My eyes closed and my hands stretched out to heaven, I waited… then bam!
My Rescuer made his majestic appearance and reached into my chained up heart. I bent over and cried deeply and (unfortunately) loudly as He ripped all the “stuff” out of me. I began trembling and shaking a little. This was not the sort of church where this sort of thing happened; we were way to cool for emotional outbursts, so I tried to keep calm. The pastor stood up and told everyone to sit down. I couldn’t, I was frozen and could hardly control my body. After a few uncomfortable minutes I managed to sit down. Once seated I just cried and cried and cried.
My left leg started shaking uncontrollably and the rest of my body shook. People around me asked if I was alright and I motioned to them that I was fine. I saw in my mind a closed door and felt in my heart that God was saying that He had shut the door to my past. It was over, the heartache, the struggle, the pain was all over. His hand had closed the door. It wasn’t done by my will or strength; He shut it and at the exact same time, opened the door to my future.
I knew something life changing had just occurred. He touched me, He gave me the breakthrough that I have cried out to Him for, fasted for, prayed for and begged for. He gave me a breakthrough in my heart and I knew I would never be the same again.
Once I had recovered from this incredible experience I tried to look back in my mind on all the stuff I’d been struggling with and it wasn’t there, all I saw was the door. It’s really over! This long, hard, journey, this heart struggle is finally over. I was so very excited. I could suddenly see so much more to my future. I could see myself preaching one day perhaps, that was my first thought. This thought was quite random, especially for someone who fears public speaking with a deep, sickening fear. Well I didn’t have a clue what was coming, all I knew was that from this moment forward I was going to be painting on my new, crisp, clean, white canvas and this time I was not going to mess it up.
I sat fantasising about painting very careful, colourful strokes onto a white canvas. I saw how beautiful my life’s painting was going to be. God is truly the God of second chances and I just couldn’t wait to see all the great stuff that was going to happen that week!

This is a snippet of the fourth chapter from my new book 'Secure on the Rock' which will be released in paperback on 1 March 2011.  Chapter 5 of Secure on the Rock will follow soon, more info available here.

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