Being a Friend - Who is a Friend

To have a friend you need to be a friend first.
Being a friend is the essential ingredient in any friendship.  I have never met a friendly lonely person.  It just doesn’t exist.  If you are sowing friendship then it stands to reason that you will reap friendship.  Sadly, I have met many lonely people and in most cases I have found that they have a very selfish attitude in the area of friendships.  These people tend to expect other people to want to be their friends and they complain when no one seems to bother trying to be their friend.  I have heard on many occasion the complaints of this sort of person.  They will say things like,
    “No one came to speak to me today at church!”
    To which I respond,
    “Who did you go to speak to today at church?”
    They could even complain that no one speaks to them at work or at their child’s mothers group.  This example applies to any setting.  Do you go up to people and speak to them or do you wait for people to come up to you first?
Or they will say,
    “No one ever phones me to see how I am!”
    To which I respond,
    “Who have you called this week?”
    Or perhaps their complain will be,
    “No one seems to care about me or even notice that I exist.”
    To which I respond,
    “Who are you noticing in your world, who do you care about?”

I could go on but I am sure you are getting the picture.  Listen to yourself and to your complaints.  What is coming out of your mouth?  What are your desires?  Are you sowing what you hope to reap?  Remember, to have a friend you need to be a friend first.

It has been said that a sorrow shared is halved, but a joy shared is doubled.  Proverbs 27:10a says, “Do not forsake your friend or a friend of your family” because you may need that friend in times of trouble.  Consider your own life, who do you feel free to run to in times of trouble?  Who do you share your joy with?  Are you being a good friend to your friends and friends of your family or do you only call on them in times of trouble?  A sure way to know if you are being a good friend is to consider how many people come to you with their joys and sorrows.  Do people feel free to come to you and share these things with you?  To be a friend means that you not only have someone to go to but that you are also available for people to come to when they need a friend. 

Friendships are one of the most important things in a life.  Their worth is not diminished by time, not devalued by inflation, not worn out by use, but like a fine wine, they improve over the years.  Start investing in being a friend today, don’t wait until crisis hits to realise that you have no real friends.

Decide today that you will be a friend to others and then intentionally go out of your way to offer your friendship by being a friend first.  You never know, there may be some lovely people are in your world that you never noticed before.  They might even turn out to be your best friend!

Find out more about Being a Friend here or about using our material to host your own Girl's Night here.  


  1. cynthia9.5.12

    wow! really educational yeah i think we need to know that we shoud treat others the way we would like to be treated.

    1. Angela9.5.12

      I'm glad you agree Cynthia :) x