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21.9.09

My Father's Love

More from Jordan...

After a few months I moved back with my mum, I saw my dad every weekend, then every second weekend...then one day he didn't show up, my mum sat me down and explained "Jordan, your daddy isn't going to pick you up for a while".

"Oh, is he coming next weekend instead?"

"He's not coming at all..."

I locked myself in the bathroom for a good while crying, I've always been SO attached to my father, and now suddenly he didn't want to see me, I was so confused. Right through all of this, my mother had to watch me hurt, she had to watch me beat myself up about it, thinking that I was the reason he didn't want to pick us up, nothing she could say would convince me otherwise.

Being left by your father is a hard thing to go through, even harder if you don't know why; I think my father couldn't pick us up because of money problems, but that's not good enough, a daddy just cant leave his girls! He has to stick by me, be a provider, most of all he has to LOVE me enough to make an EFFORT...

...Now, although my father says he loves me, I'm convinced he knows nothing about love, or at least about the love of a father; I believe this for the following reasons:
  • First, he does not believe in God: God IS love (1 John 4:16) He is the ULTIMATE source of what keeps us going, Love, If my father wants to give me the love I need, he must know the most AMAZING love anyone can experience, Gods love, my Daddy's love.
  • Second, He doesn't seem to be making an effort, he always told me: "If a man really loves you, he will be willing to chase after you" So why isn't he?
Now remember, I am on a path of healing, not a path of "lets bash dad to make me feel better"
If you are hurting, ask God to show you his love; ask God to be your Daddy, trust me, no one can be a daddy like God can, he knows all about us and he loves us unconditionally. God is the only one who can set me free from hurt, so, even though my father cant give me the love I need, I know that my Daddy in heaven has SO much love for me, and I don't have to be amazing to get it! its unconditional!!

More from me soon, mean while PLEASE listen to my mothers sermon: Being Free, which talks ALOT about father's and daddy's, it is AMAZING and many lives will be touched by this word

xxx lovee youu all :) Jordan

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