King's Daughters

Back to my church story and this part is a really happy part of the story :) It comes after the terrible mess I made of my life, after my first marriage failed due to my stupidity and after I moved away from Crawley London to start over with my girls. Just a quick glimpse into the low point so that you can appreciate how high the highs were. This is an extract from my very first book, Hope's Journey . "During a very dark and confusing season, when I was living a shameful lifestyle and going through a divorce, God spoke to me.   I was sitting in the hallway drinking wine and crying my heart out.  Sadness, confusion, helplessness and total aloneness was closing in on me. The razor blade was already bloody as I had attempted to hack into my wrists.  Pain consumed me as life had become completely unliveable!   Whilst I sat there crying in agonising pain, I cried out to God to help me.  I said that I didn’t want to live anymore and couldn’t see any way forward except to keep tryin

"For as the body is one and has many members, but all the members of that one body, being many, are one body, so also is Christ." 1 Corinthians 12 - 12 Before I continue with my church journey I wanted to take a look at how awesome the body of Christ is. No matter where I have been geographically, emotionally or spiritually I have always been a part of the body of Christ. During a dark season as a backslidden Christian when I was about 19 I first discovered the beauty of the body of Christ. I loved Jesus, I always did and always will do, but I went through a patch of unGodliness where I loved other things more. I got caught up in the party scene through a Christian friend and started drinking alcohol through that same friend. Up to that point I was a good Christian girl trying to work out my faith. Being a teenager who grew up too quickly, the pull of parties and fun was too much and I gave in. It wasn't long before I no longer attended church and was out until silly o&#

That's what happened on 16th April 2000, my church had its final meeting and closed its doors forever. That season is a bit foggy in my mind, perhaps it's better that way, but I will do my best to recount someone of what happened but please keep in mind it is my view point, many others would share their version of things a little differently. Hindsight is interesting, looking back all the signs were there, well hidden most of the time but occasionally they did pop up. Being the pastor's PA and church secretary meant that I got to see a lot more than many and I quickly learned that what happens behind the scenes is very different to what you mostly see at church on Sunday. I learned how churches can run out of money and struggle to pay bills at times, a sad but very real  circumstance. Bills need to be paid and if people don't give generously and faithfully then where does the money come from? I saw how incredibly generous some of the church were and how about eighty per

Before we we pick up with the story from my previous post , let's pause and take a look at the church. What is it really? It's easy to say that you are hurt by the church but what is the church? How can "it" hurt us?  the dictionary defines church as 'a building used for public Christian worship'. If we speak of church in this context then we cannot be hurt by it - after all a building simply cannot hurt you! This must mean that this is not what we are talking about when we speak of church. The dictionary also describes church as  'the hierarchy of clergy within a particular Christian Church'. Hierarchy is a system which once again cannot hurt you. These explanations of church are partly true in that the church does meet in a building and does have a hierarchy but it does not describe The Church that Jesus died for. Jesus didn't die for bricks and mortar or for a particular system or hierarchy. Jesus died for people! Yes he clearly says in the Bibl

Picking up from my recent post , let's get back to my church story.  Oh and before we go there, what do you think of the new King's Daughters lilac logo? We are trying to keep the 'K' across all three areas just have a slightly different feel. Ok, let's go back to the church I was first saved at, The King's Lighthouse in Brits South Africa. It was a wonderful season where I was totally loved up by  my church family despite all my 'stuff'. I loved being saved and forgiven, I felt clean despite the many things I still had to work out with God.  I was baptised, filled with the Holy Spirit and passionately on fire for Jesus. I only listened to Christian music, burned anything that was even slightly unchristian (seriously!) and even wore Jesus t-shirts to make sure it was clear I was a Jesus girl!  About a year or so later we had to move towns for my then husband's job and so we were transplanted into a church recommended by our pastors. It was amazing t

I will continue with my early church journey in my next post but I need to interject with this letter to all the lovely ladies who are a part of our Girl's Nights over at King's Coffee House in Cheltenham. To all you wonderful women who have been on the Girl's Night journey with me for the past years. I write to you with a heavy heart but also with much love in my heart for you. We have grown to know each other and love each other and this new season in my life takes me away from you, which is not easy at all. I would like to say that it's all positive and that you should be happy for me but it's not such a simple story. For various reasons our family have left our church that we have called home for the past 18 months. Eric has accepted a job at another church and felt that he needed to do this to provide for his family, as being a full time student this past year has made life rather difficult. He had to leave his studies and cannot finish his degree to take this

It seems God is doing a deep work in me during this season and as with many deep works, He takes us back to childhood. So I find myself reflecting and going back to my earliest memories of church. I have always loved church. I don't recall my first visit but I imagine I was very young. My mother attended church from time to time when I was little and my father was an atheist. If it weren't for my mother I would not have the wonderful memories I have to treasure now. I recall how much I loved Sunday school, learning about the Bible stories, colouring in the pictures, felt board stories and just the way church made me feel. Church was always good and I don't recall ever being dragged to along, I was keen and willing. As I grew older I took myself to church when my mom didn't go, even though it was far away, as I really did love it! My earliest memory of loving Jesus was when I was school age and the wonderful Christian teachers at school did a brilliant job of encouraging

I remember one particular trip back from London to Cheltenham. It had been a long day of hard work, conducting interviews for our Women's Business Magazine , driving from one side of London to the other and back again. Lorah and I were travelling back late at night and were desperate to get home. My back hurt so much from sitting in the car for so long that I had to lean forward over the steering wheel in a funny position to relieve the pain. I was exhausted and the drive home felt like an eternity.  THEN IT HAPPENED! I accidentally  took a wrong turn on the motorway. I can't tell you how my heart sank! The worst part was that it was a long drive to the nearest roundabout to get back in the right direction. There was a metal barrier between the two sections of the motorway and no way to turn around and get back on track. I was stuck going in the wrong direction and there was nothing I could do about it except keep going IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!  I can't tell you how horrible

I don't know if what I am going to be writing about in the near future is going to make any sense at all. I don't even know if I should be publicly processing all this. You may have noticed that the tone of my previous post wasn't in proportion to the announcement. I realised after posting it that I was trying to say something without saying it, which of course didn't work at all. So I am going to attempt, over a series of posts, to share my journey with you - live from the heart, as it happens. This is not something that I have been through, come out of, got the t-shirt and can help others through. This is what I am going through and trying to figure out. You can expect it to be raw and real so please don't judge me. I have judged too many others in my situation in past years only to find out what it really feels like to be this side of the judgement. When church hurts You may recall a similar story that we posted in 2010 - When Church Hurts .  Now I will attempt

I have sat with my hands on the keys several times now, to write to you but never know what to say. So here it is, I am just going to let it come out, raw and real. You see, I have a choice, I can  pitch  what I have to say to you in a very positive, exciting way (which would be honest ish )   or I can pour out my heart and soul which could be overly negative and draining for you. For your sake and mine I will do neither, I am not pitching anything to you, it is not positive nor negative, it just is. This is where the journey has taken me and many of you have been reading my posts for years and have stayed with me through all the ups and downs, trials and tests, joys and laughter. Not A New Beginning I considered calling this post A New Beginning but realised that it is not a new beginning at all, it is the next chapter in our book, a new season in our life, perhaps even a turn at a cross road. I considered calling it Starting Over only to realise that nothing is starting over but this

I have sat with my hands on the keys several times now, to write to you but never know what to say. So here it is, I am just going to let it come out, raw and real. You see, I have a choice, I can  pitch  what I have to say to you in a very positive, exciting way (which would be honest ish )   or I can pour out my heart and soul which could be overly negative and draining for you. For your sake and mine I will do neither, I am not pitching anything to you, it is not positive nor negative, it just is. This is where the journey has taken me and many of you have been reading my posts for years and have stayed with me through all the ups and downs, trials and tests, joys and laughter. Not A New Beginning I considered calling this post A New Beginning but realised that it is not a new beginning at all, it is the next chapter in our book, a new season in our life, perhaps even a turn at a cross road. I considered calling it Starting Over only to realise that nothing is starting over but this