It's two weeks into the new year and I feel a bit overwhelmed by the reality of my life but also hopeful that somehow I can find the balance - in fact I will not stop trying until I get my days looking more like I want them to! In my previous post I launched the concept of the My Life Pie. I was not quite sure how you would take it. Some loved it and some hated it. However, as the days go by I find myself sharing it with others as a way of explaining my attempt to find some balance this year.
So far I established that I work way too much and do little else during the week. Every Saturday I stay in my pyjamas and do as little as possible to recover from the week, leaving a little energy to get my butt to church on Sundays and do my best at loving my Christian brothers and sisters. Shocking I know!!
My Life Pie gave me some sense of order, at least in theory, yet to be realised practically. Cleaning was the very first thing that I noticed was missing when after one week of trying to do life better I noticed how dirty and messy my house was! Ooops, I needed to factor some cleaning in. You will laugh when you read my next post about this, entitled How to have a hot body, a clean house and save money!
Each day, in my mind, should have a variety of activities not just work and sleep, so I continue to strive towards building days that are balanced. I want to wake up each morning around 5am as I love the early mornings when everything is quite (this means I should be going to bed around 9pm which is not always possible). I would like some time to exercise and some time to meditate (I have discovered how wonderfully powerful the simple act of controlled breathing can be coupled with hearing God or dwelling on a Bible verse.) Playing the guitar is also something I strive to do daily if possible, I am not very good at all, been a beginner for many years, but I am OK with that as I only want a simple accompaniment to my simple worship. I LOVE to play and sing PRIVATELY!!!
Cleaning is now a new time slot where I focus on a quick whiz around the hour or focus on one room's deep cleaning. I couple this with loud worship music or a chilled chat to God while I am cleaning. God can speak even as we do the mundane everyday chores.
Yes I confess, I do try squash 9 hours of work into my day, at the moment it's more like 10 or 11 some days but I am determined to cut down and fit these others things into my day. I love my work but equally I loathe it. What I mean is that I love what I do but because it is still a relatively new business, it needs a lot of attention just like a new baby. The Women's Business Club is growing steadily and very soon I hope will be great success story that will support women in their businesses all over the UK. I do love my work but I don't want to love it at the expense of my children, my marriage and my very sanity! I especially don't want to love it so much that God get's the bare minimum of my time.
So that takes me to the final slices of my pie - my family and relaxation time. I LOVE my family so much, it is the most important thing in the world to me but sadly it is my family that gets neglected the most when I overwork. I dearly want to stop working soon after the children get home from school, dedicate some time to play with them and do homework, then cook and have dinner with them and finally end the family time by spending time with them as I tuck them into bed. This is my ideal scenario. Too often they come home and I say, "Just finishing something off, be with you soon." Hours pass and I race to the kitchen to throw a dinner together so I can get them to bed on time. Eeek and another day has passed leaving me unsatisfied that I neglected the most important part of my day!
Relaxation is wind down time in the evening, usually a long bath with candles and chilled music or a movie just to switch off, I would like it to be more reading but I am usually too tired to focus on the words so opt for something more brain dead like a movie. Many nights I go straight from work to bed which of course is SILLY and has a significant impact on my sleep!
You see, I know what I want it life! I know what I want my days to look like. I know how I want to feel at the end of each day. What I want and what I actually have are completely different. My Life Pie is my way of working hard at trying to get what I want to become my reality. Too many years have passed by now, I am 42 years old, I have missed too much of life itself to allow any more years to go by.
Some of you might have a quizzical look on your face right now wondering what all this waffle is about and when I will make a point. Others may be nodding and totally understand what I am saying. Either way, please make sure that you are living your life and not just letting the days, weeks, months and years slip away from you. For me, starting to tackle what my days should look like in the form of My Life Pie is the only way I can find some sort of control in my life.
I would love to hear from you. How do you feel about your life right now? What are you working on to truly life your life? What is most important to you this year? How can we pray for you so that you don't have to battle through things alone? Please use this blog, don't just stand by and observe all my random waffle but get involved. Let's make this more of a community of King's Daughters who build each other up and support each other and less of a monologue from little ol' me.
To make chatting and prayer support easier, I have set up a brand new Facebook group for us at www.facebook.com/groups/963686297000397/ It is a closed group which means only the members of the group can see what you write - it is private to outsiders so you won't be exposed to the whole world, just a lovely bunch of Christian women.