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23.1.12

Being a Wife - Who is Satisfied

Eve had it all, the looks, the security and the man! She lacked nothing at all in this world – life was truly perfect for her – literally! Yet she wasn’t satisfied. She had to have more. She needed to taste the forbidden fruit. As you know, she took that bite and left us in the state we are in today.

Don’t be too harsh on Eve, we are no different, the more we have the more we want. We are never satisfied. We spend ages begging God for a husband and when we get married we spend most of the time complaining about our husband – we want more than he can give. We beg God for children but when things get tough we complain to God about the children He gave us. It’s the human condition – we are never satisfied, the more we have the more we want and it’s a never ending cycle.

Philippians 4:11-13
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Paul figured it out; he learned to be content, to be satisfied no matter what life threw at him. He had learned that through Jesus who gives him strength he could do anything.

In marriage, we can become dissatisfied. At first it’s all fun and games, romance and passion, but after a few years reality sets in. Before you know it you see each other’s faults clearly and the very things that you used to love now annoy you. That is marriage, two imperfect people trying to live together. 

Sound gloomy? Well it is if you don’t know how to be satisfied. The ability to be satisfied in all things is a choice not a gift. As wives we can either choose to be content in all things or we can choose not to be. If we are not content the chances are that we will be complaining and nagging quite often. If we are not content then we are likely to be demanding, expecting our husband to

change and expecting him to fix all the bad things in our life. It’s so easy to lose perspective. For many people, marriage ends up being a place where two people that started out believing that they were perfect for each other, become experts on each other’s faults. What used to be a place on infatuation and adoration becomes a place of judgement and condemnation.

Do you want to know the secret? It’s all in your mind. No seriously, it is. Your marriage and your contentment in your marriage are largely determined by your perspective and your attitude, which can be changed by the power of your own choice, in your mind! You can choose to look at all his faults or you can choose to find his best points and dwell on them. It’s your choice and it is entirely possible that he hasn’t changed that much but that your perspective of him is the thing that has changed. 

To be truly satisfied you need to start with relying on Jesus who is the only one who will ever truly satisfy you. Your husband cannot be the sole source of your happiness and he cannot completely satisfy you. When you expect your husband to satisfy you, I can assure you he will try his best to give you what you expect, but it is unreasonable to expect this of him and the result will be a man who continually doesn’t feel good enough for you. 

In time these feelings will wear him down and he will stop being the man he once was. He will feel that he can never satisfy you and so therefore he is not good enough for you. Girls, don’t break your man down by expecting from him what is not humanly possible. Be satisfied; choose to be satisfied with what you have. And the parts that you really struggle with... take them to Jesus.

Nehemiah 8:10
Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.

Find out more about Being a Wife here or about hosting your own Girl's Night here.

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